Some people refrain from making the first move because they are scared of taking no for an answer.
No is a scary word. Nobody wants to take it for an answer. But no one has ever escaped it—they want it or not.
Some get a no and move on, accepting it as a part of life. Just like American entrepreneur Mark Cuban who once wrote:
It always cracks me up when someone repeatedly peppers me with a product/service/idea and hits me with the refrain ‘I won’t take no for an answer’ or ‘would you take no for an answer?’ Let me answer that question for you right now. Hell yes I take no for an answer.”
Not everyone is as strong-hearted as Cuban. Taking no for an answer is still anathema to many people and they avoid everyone who are likely to say the bitter word.
In short, they abhor disapproval and therefore detest making efforts even for things they badly want.
My friend Hari was one of them. He liked Siya but could never muster the courage to ask her out because he thought she might refuse.
He feared that if she didn’t agree to see him and others got to know about his “rejection”, his reputation will be “harmed” and he’ll be “ridiculed”.
Scared of No
Just because you are scared of a ‘No’ does not necessarily mean you are going to get a ‘No’.
The fear of “rejection” and subsequent “loss of reputation” always bugged him.
Besides, Hari could never convince himself that others had really better things to do than finding out how many women he was hitting on or whether he was gay. (And to tackle those nosey few, I frequently suggested him to make use of his middle finger. He never did.)
Anyway, Siya waited for him for a few months to take the initiative. When he didn’t, she began seeing another guy.
When I looked at Hari’s handwriting, I saw he was too self-conscious, shown by the increasing height of m and n humps (pic A). He was always scared of looking foolish and being turned down.
Rising hump shows the writer is scared of taking no for an answer.
The rising humps in the two letters also cause stage fright. If you stammer while speaking in public, it’s because of your self-consciousness, which fills you with fear of looking stupid.
The solution: reduce the size of humps (pic B) to feel more comfortable in crowd.
If the two letters with rising humps are coupled with a certain left or straight slant in someone’s handwriting, the writer’s fear of rejection intensifies.
At workplace, such a writer won’t approach her boss for an extra day off because she is scared that her request would be turned down. She will then absent herself from work under some pretext, such as, “I was too unwell”.
There is an easy way to identify such writers because they talk a lot and open up after having a few drinks. I have covered that aspect of people’s personality in another article on self-consciousness.
Before I wind up this section, a quick note to my boss: The last time I didn’t come to work, I was indeed down with cold.
Disclaimer: One element of handwriting may be analysed at a time, but always look at the entire handwriting sample before arriving at any conclusion.
