To be a good public speaker, you must have a confident personality.
January 2008—Nidhi was upset with me. I had not found time to visit her since she and her family shifted to Mumbai in April 2007. I had declined her dinner invitations 2-3 times because I was busy.
We were now at the start of 2008, and our meeting was still pending. I was the one at fault, and my friend of seven years had every reason to be furious with me.
She invited me for lunch on Republic Day. Her ultimatum was: if I didn’t make it to her house on January 26, which was also her birthday, she’d never speak to me. I promised her I’d be there.
When I rang their doorbell, I looked at my watch. It was 12.30 pm. I was on time.
Nidhi and her husband, Samrat, were waiting for me in the hall. I was meeting Samart for the first time. They got married in 2006—the same year I moved to Mumbai.
The lunch was delicious, and the dessert was scrumptious. I was sleepy already, but we had to catch up on the lost time. So, we went on talking.
When confronted with stage fear, many people get tongue-tied despite being well-prepared.
Suddenly, loud thuds on the door and frequent doorbell sound disrupted our conversation. It sounded like an emergency. Nidhi leaped towards the door to find a 16-something girl standing there with her eyes red. She looked a little downcast.
“What happened, Srija?” a worried Nidhi asked her.
I did not know the girl. Later, I found out she was Samrat’s sister.
After a few minutes, the story unfolded. I’ll recapitulate:
At a Republic Day function, Srija was supposed to deliver a speech, for which she had rehearsed well. But when she walked on the stage, she realised she couldn’t utter a word. She was tongue-tied.
“I just didn’t know what to speak. I forgot everything. Some people in the back row were sniggering. It was so embarrassing,” Srija said.
“Never mind, sweetie,” Nidhi said, trying to comfort her.
I listened to her talk. She spoke fluently. Never stammered or stuttered. I was told she was a brilliant student. But stage fright was not new for her. She had been working on it.
Srija had prepared and rehearsed well for that day. She beamed with confidence when she left for the event. But like always, she froze when her turn came.
Problem in handwriting
I asked Srija to write a handwriting sample along with her signature. She took about 15 minutes to write it.
I saw Srija’s handwriting and discovered she was self-conscious, shown by the rising hump of m’s and n’s.
A self-conscious person faces difficulty in being a good public speaker.
People with this personality trait always face stage fright and they don’t do new things, fearing they’d “look stupid”.
For example, a girl with this personality trait will hesitate to approach the boy she likes because she fears he may say no or she thinks others may laugh at her. Similarly, a self-conscious tele-caller will hesitate to make sales calls, because she thinks the customer won’t buy her products.
I gave Srija a few handwriting exercises, one of which was aimed at reducing her self-consciousness.
I recommend that same exercise to everyone who wants to get rid of the fear of “looking stupid”. Incidentally, if you’re planning to go in sales or marketing, self-consciousness will be a major roadblock.
Problem in Srija’s signature
The second big problem was in Srija’s signature. It was squiggly, small, and it looked crushed. That signature reflected her insurmountable stage fright.
Srija’s squiggly signature indicated she was not a good public speaker.
People with that kind of signature lack an attractive or clear public persona. They give mixed or confusing messages about their capabilities and talent.
A person with this kind of signature behaves perfectly fine when he is at home or among known people. But as soon as he is outside in front of strangers, he is unable to communicate clearly.
That was the main problem which Srija was facing.
I asked Srija if she would like to change her signature. She agreed. (Learn why I ask students above 16 to change their signatures).
She diligently practised the new signature for a month, and kept sending it to me periodically for review. Within a month, her signature got transformed.
A few months later, Nidhi told me about the changes in Srija’s behaviour. After changing the signature, Srija had become much more confident and her public-speaking skills had gone up many notches.
Disclaimer: One element of handwriting may be analysed at a time, but always look at the entire handwriting sample before arriving at any conclusion.
